The Rob Scrawl: Top 10 Laaadies

Image courtesy of Paramount

As you may or may not have noticed, The Girl with the Dunce Cap is rather fond of regulars. Y’know, posts you’re expected to expect – Book Club, Dunce Flash, The Dunce Cap (TK tonight). And now, I’m launching just one more. The Rob Scrawl is a series of top ten lists. These lists consist of, like most other things on this blog, things I like. The things I like most or least or that remind me of something peculiar. Don’t pull that face – they’re fun! Wayne & Garth loved ’em too – scha-wing!

The Rob Scrawl is modeled after, even more than Garth & Wayne, one of my favorite fictional characters, Rob Fleming from Nick Hornby‘s High Fidelity. Rob was a list man. He made top five lists to chronicle the things he loved, from films to TV episodes to tracks to memorable moments. He is also a mix tape man, another thing we undoubtedly have in common. Rob is a Music Man, as I am a Music Girl, and he is a Romantic. I can’t deny that I am too. But, most of all, we’re loudmouths about the things we love, and that is, after all, what all of these lists are really about.

So without further ado, the first Rob Scrawl.

The Rob Scrawl: Ms. C & The Women

My internship today brought some pretty laughter-ridden culture conversation, which led to the usual rant about Kristen Stewart, Megan Fox and my obvious distaste for both. In response, my coworker accused me of being a bit anti-woman. So, to prove that I am not, in fact, anti double-X chromosome, I constructed my top 10 women list. These are women with charm and class, without the vacant eyes of Stewart or the half-assed performances of Fox. These are women I do have nice things to say about after all.

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This Rob Scrawl is in alphabetical order. In the future, there may be some preferential order.

Anna Quindlen: My favorite teacher once insisted to me that I had to be the next Anna Quindlen. I guess I took it to heart. I just finished her most recent novel, “Every Last One,” a heartbreaking work of stagging genius (ch’yeah).

Betsey Johnson: Don’t call her Cyndi Lauper. Betsey has an incredible style with a flair for color, and her clothes are gorgeous pieces for tea parties, proms or house romping.

Daria Morgendorffer: The classic high school misanthrope, Daria made braininess (and glasses! and sarcasm!) cool for girls, too.

Ellie Kemper: Sure, Ellie plays a sweet if hapless secretary on NBC’s “The Office,” but she’s a real comedy hotshot. Her video launched on Funny or Die (link NSFW), blowing (punny) into the common comedic consciousness. Now she writes for McSweeney’s and The Onion.

Judy Blume: Judy Blume defined girldom for most preteens, tackling the tough issues most fiction writers wouldn’t even begin to address.

Kate Nash: Kate Nash is darling with a kick. She’s a British songstress with a really hilarious personality and a pretty voice to match. That girl is sass.

Kate Nash, “We Get On”

Katey Sagal: Katey is the voice. So, okay, a lot of people know who she is, she of bouffant hair and leopard spandex, Ms. Peggy Bundy. But there’s more to Katey than just that. She’s a comedy legend. Leela? Spinelli’s mom? SMART HOUSE? It’s that voice. It’s the most soothing sound in the world.

Maura Johnston: Maura is an incredible woman. She’s tough, really, a girl in a boy’s town, finding music in the deepest recesses of the grimy big city. God, she’s cool. And incredibly talented. She isn’t editing for Idolator anymore, but she’s still writing. Something tells me she’ll never stop. Thank god for that.

Natalie Portman: This one is a total no-brainer. Natalie is gorgeous, brilliant, talented – and vulgarly hilarious? Who knew. The Israeli-American princess is one bad ass bitch.

The Lonely Island, “Natalie’s Rap”

Zooey Deschanel: The queen of gorge, Zooey is a star. Her beauty continues to stun me, and she is such an utter delight. Yo, she went to NU (for two quarters!), and that only makes me love her more. She’s an accomplished singer (with M. Ward in She & Him), actress and smile-r. Yeah, it’s almost an obsession.

honorable mentions: lisa simpson, jenny lewis, crystal renn, liv tyler, mindy kaling, christiane amanpour

Who would be on your top ten women list?
No Mileys here, please.


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